Holy Testicle Tuesday!!!

I've never seen anything like this in my entire life....

Buck Shot

Artie Lange gives Joe Buck his comeuppance.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/richard_deitsch/06/16/buck.lange/?eref=sihpht

Finally someone with the balls to stand up to this asshole. Artie is is just too much, but not nearly enough at the same time.

Necessary Roughness

Basketball- "It's not interesting until the home team loses a game" I don't know who the first person to utter those words were but they are an idiot. What does that even mean? Let's look at using the latest example. The Los Angeles Lakers won the first 2 games of the finals at home then traveled to Orlando for game 3. If the home team would have lost that game then the series would have been at 3-0. That is the opposite of interesting. It makes the Lakers virtually unbeatable with 2 home games still to play and the Magic are lame ducks just waiting for the season to end. If the home team never loses then you are looking at a game 7 guaranteed. What more could you ask for? Congratulations Lakers. By the way Shaq how does Kobe's ass taste?

Flock of Seagulls wins game- As terrific as the motion picture Major League is not even Rick "The Wildthing" Vaughn could redeem the city of Cleveland in my eyes. Two-seasons ago the midges swarmed the field and cost the Yankees in my view, the series, by pestering Joba Chamberlain into submission. They still come out and pester the players this season, however an even worse side effect has transpired in response to this. The local avian community has shown up on a daily basis to feast at the all you can eat buffet of insects. Last week one of the birds basking in the outfield soaking up some mid-day was struck with a line drive that would have ended up in the glove of outfielder Coco Crisp. Instead the bird got the game winning RBI and walk off win. Not funny. Just ask Pedro Cerrano. Cleveland just keeps reaping the benefits but it is simply unacceptable for wildlife to affect the outcome of a proffesional game. They should suspend play until the field is clear and the MLB should fine them for delaying the progress of the game.



Leaf- Somebody wants Ryan Leaf? You heard correctly, unfortunately it's not an NFL team, or a college team, or high school or Pop Warner. No. The former NFL Draft pick is a wanted man in the state of Texas by the authorities, who have issued a warrant for his arrest on 9 drug indictements. Don't remember Ryan Leaf? Here is a video recap,
This video was taken the day after he put up the following stats on the KC Chiefs.
1/15
4 yards
6.7 completion %
0.3 YPA
0 TD
2 INT
2 Sacks
Oh that Ryan Leaf....

OchoCinco- This is somewhat disappointing. Last week Chad Ochocinco posted pictures of himself sporting new facial tattoos. The state of Florida on the left cheek, two crosses on the right, and of course an OC right between the eyes.

At this point my excitement could not be contained, the guy just keeps getting more interesting. However as it turns out the whole thing was a hoax and Chad could not keep it going. This was a let down but anytime someone can play tricks on the media is a plus in my book

Vick- I don't know what's going to happen here. Someone will sign him. You can be sure of that. What will be the reaction? I'll tell you what it should be, excitement for a new offensive weapon. What will likely happen however is a maelstrom of protests from the jerk-offs at P.E.T.A. Get over it. He did his time you can't harass the guy for the rest of his life. Looking at the big picture, what he did wasn't so bad. He didn't rape anyone, pistol whip a kid at McDonald's (see: Marcus Vick), or go on a murder spree. I love dogs and I am not trying to down play his horrible activity, but it could have been worse. I can't wait for whatever team he plays for to unveil their new "Wild Dog" formation. What too soon?
Nascar- How is NASCAR still operating? GM is bankrupt. Does this mean the government is financing NASCAR? Not to mention they spend close to a billion dollars on gas alone There's no joke here. What the fuck?

Calhoun's wild ride- Connecticut basketball coach Jim Calhoun went for a little charity bike ride Saturday. Calhoun, 67, finished the 50-mile Jim Calhoun Cancer Challenge Ride, spoke to the media and then collapsed. It turned out he broke six ribs when he hit a pothole and fell during the race. This is the same man who was hospitalized and missed two games during March Madness due to exhaustion. Who let him on a bicycle?

What the Buck?- Why in God's name would anyone want to hear Joe Buck unless Fox was forcing him down your throat in order to watch a goddamn ball game? This is the same guy that admitted on air during a live broadcast that regular season baseball bores him. Great that ought to make these next 6 innings fly by with a guy that could care less, don't even get me started on McCarver he deserves his own piece. By the way his first guest is Brett Favre.

Oh Nooo!!!

It is a sad state of affairs to see one of my favorite wrestlers of all time be reduced to this. Not even a dying child can stand the sight of him.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/make_a_wish_recipient_now_wishes

Vince Mcmahon has blacklisted him from the "WWE" (fuck the World Wildlife Fund)
His absence from the WWE's newest game THQ's Legends of Wrestlemania was glaring, considering how big a role he played in the events. He wrestled in 8 of them.

Miss Elizabeth died from a steroids related heart attack in 2003.

Last but not least Vince is putting out a DVD chronicling Savage's entire career, without including the once Macho King in production.

Snap into a Slim Jim!!!!

Non-American Psycho

Holy Shitballs....
If you have not heard about this incident a little background first. Christian Bale went absolutely Ape-Shit on a poor DP that made the simple mistake of crossing the "Dark Knight" on set last summer, for this summer's Terminator Salvation. Family Guy substitutes the unheard DP for lovable oaf Peter Griffin. The result is instantly the greatest thing I have ever heard.

A True "Psycho"


By the way my favorite line that in my opinion does not get enough play is...
"Jeez, you punch your mother with that mouth?"
And if you don't know why that is funny, well the short answer is Bale allegedly physically abused his mother and sister ironically right around the same time as this incident. Probably the same day.

Sun's Out Guns Out

The dawning of a new age is upon us. The Mish-Man goes digital. The web will never be the same again.

Here is how this is going to work. I will write at least one full length article a week. This will be much like a "letter from the editor" in a newspaper, or for my Long Branch peeps, like Adam Schneider's "Mayor's Corner". Feel free to comment as you see fit. I will respond to these comments when appropriate. Additionally I will write additional articles sporadically as the media or world illicits my response. I thank you for choosing Mish-Man now without further adieu....
Activate Your Awesome!!!!